These days I feel like my life is a gift. That I am here at all and able to marvel, able to be inspired and awed, is so random and serendipitous. Was this the plan all along? I think, in large part, I have my husband to thank for NOW. We would not be here, in this house, in these mountains, without him. I would not be home with our kids and free to explore and delve without his sacrifice and support. I know that our life is privileged. I grew up with a single working mom, without all the dance and gymnastics and stuff. As I linger in the hot tub at my fancy cruiseship club, watching HGTV and counting all the women in Lululemon, I know that this opportunity is limited to only a few. And through the twinges of guilt and over thought, I appreciate what I have, that I have, and send out deep feelings of gratitude.
I have a lot to work on this year. Aside from all of the 'ME' I have also to give back. I hadn't factored that in, thinking I would take this whole year to myself. But, I am better than that. Despite the annoyance (at the time) of having a mother who lectured social justice and pushed my pre-teen Self to volunteer whether I wanted to or not, she ingrained in me a deep sense of responsibility to community and to the Earth. That too I am grateful for. In turn, I teach my kids.
I read something last night about the ripple effect impact that one small act of kindness can cause. One. Small. Act of Kindness. Today I spoke with every single person in this new session of my son's parent and child class. I broke through the newbie, awkwardness and found some common ground. This used to be so difficult for me, to open up and connect, now it seems so necessary. That was my small act today; so insignificant yet so very significant at the same time.